Is the Price of ‘Free’ Really ‘Free’?

It’s ironic, that’s what it really is.

A new book being released this week argues that a business model of ‘Free’ is where we are all headed. Is it???

Well, according to Chris Anderson, author of Free: The Future of a Radical Price, also editor of Wired and author of the 2006 best-seller The Long Tail, ‘Free’ is the future, if not already the present.

Oh yeah?

“The trend lines that determine the cost of doing business online all point the same way – to zero”, Anderson argues. “Everybody can use a ‘Free’ business model”, he says. “People are making lots of money charging nothing. Not nothing for everything, but nothing for enough that we have essentially created an economy as big as a good-sized country around the price of $0.00.”

Is that so. So, then, where’s the irony in all this?

It’s right here: while trumpeting the ‘Free’ price on information, the need for ‘Free’, the plea for ‘Free’, the future ‘Free’, the baydecker for businesses giving things away ‘Free’ to make money, the ‘Free’ to be market paradigm… Anderson is selling his book for $26.99.

Huh???

Yes. Mr. Anderson’s book about ‘Free’ is not free.

If Mr. Anderson really believes in the ‘Free’ price principle, why doesn’t he offer his book for ‘Free’ so he, too, can make lots of money charging nothing? Why doesn’t he practice what he preaches? “I’ve got a lot of kids and college isn’t getting any cheaper”, he says.

Oh. Okay, then. Let’s all rush out and buy it now! Here’s the publishing schedule for the new books Mr. Anderson is working on – let’s all rush out and buy these, too:

Coming out at Christmas, later this year:

Celibacy – The New Sex

Mr. Anderson promotes no sex as the best sex, despite having regular sex with his own wife. “People are having lots of fun having no sex,” he writes. “Not no sex at all, but no sex with anyone but oneself enough that we have essentially created a sexualized non-sexual condition as big as a good-sized country around the activity of sexual nothingness.”

Appearing on bookshelves in the summer of 2010:

The Vaccine Principle

Mr. Anderson promotes everything bad as good for you, the way a vaccination [bad virus] can build immunity [good result], despite not actual doing or taking any bad things himself. “People are getting lots of good out of bad things in regular but modest doses,” he writes. “Not good for bad, but bad for just enough that we have essentially created a new lifestyle as big as a good-sized country around indulgent ingestive behaviors.”

Set for publication in the fall of 2011:

Freed of Speed – The Future of The New Transportation

Mr. Anderson recommends street and highway walking, running, cycling, and pogo-sticking as future forms of The New Transportation, despite the fact there’s nothing at all new about them and that because of a “bit of a bum hip” and an “ineluctable passion for muscle cars”, he himself “can’t” give up his Mustang GTO or brand new Camaro as everyday modes of transportation. “People are saving lots of money paying nothing for cars and gas. Not making more for doing more, but making more by spending less so that we have essentially created an economy as big as a good-sized country around the $0.00 reliance on fossil fuels, mechanical repairs, and infrastructure maintenance.”

Coming out for Christmas, 2011:

Not Eating – The New Eating

Mr. Anderson’s guide to weight loss by the best method of all – not eating until you lose the weight you want – despite the fact that he personally eats three “large, healthy” meals a day and “has an ineluctable weakness” for the double cheeseburger combo at McDonald’s. “People are losing lots and lots of weight eating nothing,” he writes. “Not nothing for everything, but nothing for enough weight loss that we have essentially created a weight loss ‘happening’ as big as a good-sized country around the millions-of-pounds-lost-eating-nothing-at-all model and lower food distribution costs.”

Second, and final, book in the series, in bookstores the spring of 2012:

Not Free – The Future of a New Radical Price

Mr. Anderson’s follow-up to Free – The Future of a Radical Price is Not Free – The Future of a New Radical Price, a paradigm shift in philosophy after realizing people were stupid enough to pay $26.99 for a book about the virtues of charging nothing. Overcharging for everything to capitalize on the fundamental consumer belief that more expensive equals better, no matter what it is, is Anderson’s new modus operandi. “Everybody can use a ‘Not Free’ business model. People are making lots of money charging more money,” the author writes. “Not lots for everything, but lots for enough that we have essentially created an economy as big as a good-sized country around the price of double what everything used to be.” Not surprisingly, the retail price of Mr. Anderson’s new book will be $53.99. Also, all previous publications of Mr. Anderson will now retail for $53.99 as well.

Third, and finally final, book in the series, rushed into bookstores the fall of 2012:

The Ferrari Postulate – Charging Up the Whazoo

Mr. Anderson’s unexpected follow-up to Not Free – The Future of a New Radical Price, presents a business philosophy based on the market patina of Ferrari – make it exclusive and charge up the whazoo for it – after realizing people really would pay double for books he once sold at half the price. Charging up the whazoo for exclusivity – Mr. Anderson autographs every copy – to capitalize on the fundamental consumer belief that exorbitant equals good value and great snob appeal. “Everybody can use a ‘Really Not Free’ business model. People are making lots of money charging exorbitant amounts of money,” the author writes. “Not exorbitantly for everything, but exorbitantly for enough that we have essentially created an economy as big as a good-sized country around the exorbitantly priced article of some rarity that people can rub other people’s noses in.” The retail price of Mr. Anderson’s all-autographed book will be $107.99.